The Dive From Clausen's Pier: Ann Packer

This was a terribly sad story that you can't put down, though you know it cannot end happily. A woman, Carrie, who just finished college, realizes she doesn't want the life set before her of marrying her boyfriend, Mike, of five years. He knows things aren't going well and in an effort to show off for her he dives from a pier during a cookout with their friends. The water was feet lower than normal and he hits something on his dive leaving him a paraplegic. Carrie is torn between not wanting to carry on with her life as before, where she wasn't happy, and trying to be the person people expect her to be. Eventually she tells Mike she doesn't want to get married- in a cryptic way. The next day she hopes in her car and moves to New York without telling anyone. There she falls in love and moves in with a friend. She doesn't pay rent or get a job and eventually sells her car so she can take clothes designer classes. Her best friend calls and tells her she needs her to come home. Carrie has no money and tells her she can't- she learns the friend's mother had overdosed herself and was in the hospital, so she puts a plane ticket on her credit card and comes home. The friend is furious and won't talk to her. (The entire time reading this book I kept thinking about all the wasted money!)Carrie books a couple plane tickets back to New York, but never goes back, she never finishes school, and gave her friend a check for rent. Eventually her boyfriend sends her sewing machine and tells her over the phone that he lost a brother named Mike; both of them were forever changed by Mikes. Carrie stays in Wisconsin out of guilt, she wants to go back to New York, but Mike's best friend tells Carrie Mike was suicidal. Then Mike's mom tells her she isn't reliable. For some reason she feels she has to prove herself to these people. Her friend eventually forgives her and life continues as always.